When I recently spoke with one of my clients, her testimony resonated with me in a particularly profound way. She shared her daily struggle to juggle the overwhelming expectations weighing on her shoulders. She devoted herself tirelessly to her partner, supporting his projects, preparing meals for her children, attending all their activities and shows, all while holding down a full-time job as a physiotherapist, and even juggling a real estate project on the side. . She was a true force of nature, but behind this facade of ultra-performance hid a dark reality: she no longer had any time for herself.
She is not alone. This pressure to always be enough for those around us, to meet social expectations, to sacrifice our own needs for the well-being of others, is a struggle shared by many women around the world. We have been conditioned to believe that to be valued, we must be "good girls": always available, always ready to help, always smiling even when we are exhausted inside.
This daily struggle with "good girl" syndrome is a reality that too many women experience, but it's time to break this cycle. In this article, I share with you the devastating consequences of being a Good Girl and I give you concrete solutions to get out of it and rediscover yourself.
Stop Being a Good Girl
We are conditioned to the Caretaker role as a woman. It has become “normal” in our lives to sacrifice ourselves for the happiness of others. The danger is that we quickly become prisoners of the gaze of others without any feeling of internal satisfaction. We are stuck in the mold. We no longer have time for ourselves.
Loss of trustworthy
The direct impact is that caught up in the satisfaction of the gratification of being a "good girl", we let go of our dreams and lose the real satisfaction of accomplishing something for ourselves. We therefore do not develop confidence and self-esteem, because our confidence comes from external gratification. But what happens when we no longer have this gratification? What happens when we put all our dreams aside in favor of those of our boyfriend?
TIPS TO FREE YOURSELF FROM “GOOD GIRL SYNDROME”
1- Learn to become selfish
I'm telling you here to learn to become selfish, because if you have good girl syndrome, I warn you YOU ARE FAR FROM BEING SELFISH, and a little selfishness wouldn't hurt. For the next six months, I challenge you to take time for yourself EVERY DAY.
2- Surround yourself with two-way relationships
Cease the legacy of self-sacrifice. A relationship that doesn't give you as much as you do steals your energy. Stolen energy, you will soon have no more for you and your dreams. In business: stop hiring people you work for.
3- Give yourself love - Be worthy of your love
Learning to love yourself is a priority and it takes effort to develop a daily practice. So start with some of the following options: Send you flowers, get a massage. Take a good bath. Take a walk alone.
4- Review your position in the Karpman triangle
I explore it briefly, because I talk about it extensively in my book The Ultimate Relationship Ebook, but in short, the good girl syndrome often positions us in the position of victim and savior. Which is not good, because in no case do we really help others to take responsibility and develop the self-confidence that accompanies the success of their actions. So stop saving people, save yourself first. Stop being the hero. Learn to ask for help and share tasks.
5- Honor the women who fought for you
Women before you left their blood on the slaughterhouse to fight for your freedom, can you honor them and finally stop overwhelming your time and your schedule to please everyone.
6- Make room for yourself in your diary
Review all your commitments for the week and see which ones you do for others and which ones you do for yourself. Did you say yes to this restaurant as friends to please, even though you are poor and tired? Did you take all morning to help your boyfriend with his projects? Have you taken on more tasks at work to help your colleague? Overloading your schedule to meet everyone's needs is not an option. Learn to say no to commitments. Learn to disappoint people. Stop being nice, be real.
STOP SELF-SACRIFICE
Anyway, I could talk at length about the subject, but if you're interested, I have a complete module on it in my EXTREME SELF-LOVE membership which explores how to develop the confidence and self-esteem to accomplish those biggest dreams and first step and putting an end to GOOD GIRL SYNDROME
To find me every week in our community of women, it's here: Extreme Self-Love Community. This is where I help women put themselves forward, escape overwhelm and loneliness, and progress in their financial, physical and mental health.
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